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We have moved into a larger leased property: a town-house (known to the UK as an end-of-terrace). End-of-terrace it may be, but it is literally twice as large as the terraced cottage we had in the UK, and that’s not counting the attached double garage. The American’s cannot believe what we squeeze ourselves into, over in Blighty.

For example, everytime we have someone move our bed, they are taken aback by the fact that base comes in two pieces. About five years ago, in the UK, we splashed out on a lovely, expensive, sprung-to-our-weight bed, topped with pure new lambswool, and with a sprung base as well as mattress. We were proud of this bed, we were pleased with our comfort. Then we had it shipped to the US, and I watched with amazement as the delivery men debated why we would butchered our beds in this way. When I explained that if we didn’t we couldn’t fit these large beds up most people’s stairs, they uttered a low whistle, and commented that they thought it was just the Japanese who had a problem with that.

No, I remarked, it’s any country with houses that are more than fifty years’ old.

Sheesh! mind you, after leasing our furniture for six months (as it takes 3 months to ship stuff trans-Atlantic), and having experience the delights of an American King Size bed….let me clarify…and American King Size bed is not the “king size” they flog us in Britain, oh no. Our bed which we shipped is “king size”…yeah right.

Our leased King Size bed could fit three people, with more room than is usual. Fan-fucking-tastic. YOu can imagine our shock when our “king size” prized expensive UK bed is finally delivered this week. To our eyes, it is a single bed. It’s not even as big as US Queen size. Argh. Argh argh. still, the bed remains the most comfortable we’ve ever slept in….

….apart from one famous bed in The Grand in Amsterdam, while I was pregnant…mmmm..that was the best ever bed, in our lovely Airmiles-paid 350-pounds-a-night suite….

So, soft and comfortable or not, the upshot is that the next loose cash we get, we are splashing out on a US KING SIZE BED!!!!